Husbands Love your Wives.

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,  so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” Ephesians 5:25-28 (ESV)

“Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.” 1Peter 3:7 (ESV)

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I’m sitting in an empty parking lot waiting for my husband to come to the rescue. Finding myself in need of rescue seems to be a recurring theme in my life. Today it’s a flat tire (I really have to learn how to change a tire). I could start listing but it suffices to say that my husband has rescued me from quite a few self-induced potential catastrophes during the span of our marriage. There was the runaway dumpster that attacked my car once (ahem… I drove right into it), and the time he had to break into our house because I locked both our house keys inside and who could forget the time he had to push me around Disney World in a wheelchair because I nearly broke my ankle trying to sport some cute wedges one fateful Sunday morning?… I sure can’t. Ok, one more…my teeth…oh my, we should get them insured. We’ve paid for more dental work than anyone I know and I’m still spitting out teeth!

So I’m a disaster waiting to happen, don’t judge! No one’s perfect folks. The point is I’m grateful for my husband. He’s a take charge kind of guy. A man’s man and apparently, exactly what I need. I admit that the idea of needing to be rescued isn’t something I’m crazy about (mainly because I have to admit that (a) I most likely did something I wasn’t supposed to and (b) that there is not much I can do to get out of said situation myself…ouch). And I know that many women don’t like the idea of a man rescuing them from anything, call me old fashioned. Is chivalry really dead? If so, is that how we want it? Is there a place for it within the biblical concept of marriage? I know this whole biblical marriage thing is a big controversy to begin with, even in the church and I have to admit I have had my share of struggles with it. The question at hand is, what, if anything does my being a disaster in waiting have to do with the whole matter? Well, I did a little digging…

…Husbands live with your wives in an understanding way…

Oh my, my, my have I tested my husband in this area. I mean, the dumpster situation alone was enough to send him into hysterics, but it didn’t. I’m always amazed at how he manages to keep his cool when I cost us hundreds of dollars in repairs…I’ve blown two car engines and a transmission. This is definitely not my first flat tire and once I crashed our brand new car as I drove it out of the dealership. Yep. Believe it. He was definitely not happy about that one but he didn’t yell, belittle or overreact. He just rolled with it. On a more serious note, I’ve been very open about the fact that I struggle with panic disorder and GAD. In this area I can say my husband has been a rock for me. Never has he told me to “deal with it” or “get over it”. On the contrary, he has been actively involved in my recovery, even to the point of education himself on the condition. 
 
…Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…
Now, I’m not saying that we have literally experienced this one, unless you count the time we were nearly flattened by a mac truck on the highway. I can, however, list the numerous occasions he has sacrificed significantly for my needs and even wants.
 
I’m not saying that the man doesn’t have flaws. I mean, he’ll be the first one to point out that he can be pretty awesome at being stubborn, and at wallowing in his “man-ness”. And, we won’t get into his amazing ability to hear me in imaginary Chinese. However, he has earned my trust and respect as his wife because of his patient and understanding ways. He has made it pretty easy for me to let him lead. He has never been harsh toward me. He has never given me reason to doubt his intentions. He has never belittled or disrespected me. He has always asked my input in decision making. He has always been my biggest fan when it comes to every single one of my crazy ideas (except for party planning because let’s face it, I can get pretty crazy). He is always the first to ask for forgiveness when we (ahem) “disagree”.  He has always worked hard to provide for our family. Perhaps most importantly, he has prayed with me, comforted me and held my hand in my dark moments, when my life felt like it was falling apart. 

He believes in his role as the spiritual leader of our home. He’s not like the bumbling buffoons the media has convinced us all men are like. He makes mistakes but he’s no buffoon, just a regular guy trying to be a real man. A real man loves his family, works hard and prays harder. He makes it easy for his wife to respect him and let him lead. A real man looks like Jesus to his wife and he remembers that just like Jesus came to rescue the lot of us sinners, sometimes he will be called upon to rescue his wife, even if it is from the snares of a rogue pothole, or a spider…ok, so I ran over a pothole…don’t judge!

 

Denise Cruz


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